Flyers Faithful would like to take a moment to thank Sergei Bobrovsky for taking some time out of his busy routine to sit down with us and answer some questions about his career.
FF: Hello, Sergei. Thank you for meeting us at the Flyers Faithful offices to talk about hockey. How do you feel your rookie season has gone so far?
SB: Bob! Ha!
FF: Oh yeah, the Santa Coatesy thing. Very funny. So, tell us about your rookie year.
SB: Bob! Hahahaha!
FF: OK, I get it. Shouldn’t a translator be following you around every moment you’re not on the ice if you’re going to keep doing this? I’m pretty sure you know some English now, though.
SB: Bob! Bob! Bob! Hahahahahahahaha!
FF: Really? Oh man. How do you feel about Paul Holmgren trying to sneak Michael Leighton through waivers? How does that affect your confidence?
SB: Albeit reluctantly, I feel it imperative to acknowledge my state of despondence. Has this entire season been nothing but a ruse? Have I erroneously convinced myself that our General Manager believed in me and that I was handed the keys to the kingdom while, in reality, Michael Leighton laid in wait, only to emerge a potential frontrunner for a goaltending position as the playoffs approached? I am, if nothing else, utterly morose.
FF: So, uh, you do speak English, huh?
SB: Naturally. It’s part of the job description when you’re a Russian sp…
FF: Alright, I’ll stick to the script and lob you some softballs. What is your favorite movie?
SB: Rocky IV. When I was a child, my mother made us watch Ivan Drago fight Apollo Creed every morning during breakfast. We would cheer and clap for Drago.
FF: That’s a little odd.
SB: I must break you. Just kidding, but who do you think put that pink sweater on the Rocky the other day?
FF: I assumed it was some students from University of the Arts. I guess I really didn’t think about it.
SB: It was us, the Russians. We do not like the Rocky.
FF: Are you sure you want to admit that in Philadelphia?
SB: I am not afraid. What are the Flyers going to do, recall Michael Leighton? All you have is Bob, Bob, Bob. Muhwahahahahah!
FF: How quickly we forget.
SB: This interview is over.
Forged Dialogues is a series of fake interviews. The conversation above never actually took place. I assume that’s clear enough. You get that it’s fake and intended for comedic purposes only, right? I really hope you didn’t have to get this far before realizing that.