The Five Stages of the Trading Block

Whenever a big name becomes available around the trading deadline there are 5 stages that fans of contending teams go through.  We’re currently seeing this with Rick Nash of the Columbus Blue Jackets.  Below are the five stages of a process that drive the weak to madness and cause even the strongest to curl up in a ball in the corner.

Stage 1: HOLY CRAP HE’S AVAILABLE!?

A reporter reveals that the big name (Rick Nash from here on out) is on the market.  You can’t believe it.  You type in all caps on Twitter and Facebook.  This is madness.  Who can afford him?  What’s going on? Hold me, I’m scared!

Stage 2: How can we acquire Big Name?

Okay, so Rick Nash is out there and of course your contending team wants him.  How can they get him?  Which player that you liked yesterday is suddenly expendable? (coughJVRcough)  You simulate trades in NHL 12 and convince yourself that they make sense.  Rick Nash sure looks good in a Flyers jersey eh?

Stage 3: Do we really NEED Big Name?

The fanbase and the media reflect.  Does my team really need Rick Nash?  Will he mess up our chemistry?  Will he choke in the playoffs like a fat man at a buffet?  This in turn divides the fan base, making them engage in a series of pointless debates over the issue until everyone is exhausted and exasperated by a mere mention of a trade.

Stage 4: Acceptance

There’s no way we’re getting Rick Nash and I’m okay with that.  He’s not worth destroying our team over and I don’t want to mess with the chemistry!  We’re going to win the Stanley Cup anyway.  We’re good enough, we’re smart enough, and other teams don’t like us!

Stage 5: Outrage

What do you mean that Mystery Team Who Hasn’t Been Mentioned To This Point got Rick Nash!?  He should have been ours!  We’re never going to win the Cup!  ARGH!

Much like the circle of life and Flyers’ goaltending issues, this is a fairly consistent cycle.  Enjoy the trading deadline and try not to lose your mind.