Flyers as “Anchorman” characters

Two worlds colliding.

As a tribute to one of the funniest movies ever, and in light of Will Ferrell’s recent visit to Philadelphia and his interaction with a few of the young Flyers, we’re getting a little silly this week.

Close your eyes, sip your scotchy scotch scotch, and join us for “Flyers as ‘Anchorman’ characters.”

Claude Giroux as Ron Burgundy

This one is a given. Burgundy’s the leader of the group, smooth with the ladies, and has one of the best mustaches in the game, just like G does in Movember. I bet that Giroux’s apartment smells of rich mahogany, though I’m not sure he has enough time to read his many leather-bound books.

Max Talbot as Brian Fantana

If anyone on the team owns a bottle of cologne called “Sex Panther,” it’s Talbot. Though his taste in clothing is questionable at times – I bet he used to do all of his shopping with Kris Letang — he’s stylin’ more often than not, and he’s also got a way with the ladies. Also, I’m fairly certain that I heard him refer to someone as “Panda Jerk” during a scrum this past season.

Scott Hartnell as Champ Kind

When Claude starts to hang out with the new kids, like Brayden Schenn and Sean Couturier, it’s tough for Hartsy. He’s been there all along and now these newbies are stealing his Ron — I mean, his Claude — away from him. So he gets drunk, gets bummed when G turns down the team pancake breakfast, belligerently proposes moving in together in Haddonfield, and then has to sit the next few shifts out. But Hartnell is G’s right-hand man just like Champ is Ron’s, and the friendship is always restored in the end.

Ilya Bryzgalov as Brick Tamland

A bunch of fantastic and hilarious one-liners is what connects Bryz and Brick (not to mention, their similar names). Plus, both men have the tendency to do really, really stupid things at times. They’re remarkably nice and personable, though, so you almost can’t help but root for them. At the end of the movie, Brick jumps into the bear pit to save Ron and Veronica. I could see Bryz overcoming his fear of bears to do the same thing for his teammates.

Brayden Schenn as Veronica Corningstone

The young, attractive upstart coming over from another “team,” Brayden quickly became a fan favorite (once he was injury-free, that is). Philly brought him over to infuse some of that West-coast attitude into the lineup because they needed to be a more diverse team. (Why they needed an old wooden ship is beyond me, but that’s not the point). Just like Ron and Veronica, Giroux and Schenn are living together now, and are ready to take over the world, or, at least, Olde City.

Sidney Crosby as Wes Mantooth

Another given. Wes and Ron hate each other, and Wes is willing to do anything to take Ron down and take over the top spot in ratings — much like Crosby, who slashed Giroux’s wrists repeatedly during faceoffs in an attempt to get his team to the top. Crosby’s actions could have quite possibly just been payback for Giroux never calling Mrs. Crosby again after their lovely seafood dinner together.

Supporting cast:

Steve Ott as Frank Vitchard — Tries to brag about his talent, but comes off sounding like a complete tool. At least Ott didn’t get his arm chopped off like Vitchard did, although he did get shoved by Peter Laviolette.

Peter Laviolette as Ed Harkin — The leader of the team, Lavy has to maintain order in a locker room full of different and differing personalities, like Ed did in the Channel 4 studio.

Craig Berube as Garth Holliday — Harkin’s assistant was usually quiet, like Beast can be at times. But when provoked or upset? Garth had no problem telling Ron that he had a poop mouth, and I’m sure that Berube has no problem telling one of his players when they’re playing like [poop].