Point/Counterpoint: Dustin Byfuglien

Dustin Byfuglien

Image courtesy Puck Daddy

Welcome to the newest edition of “Point/Counterpoint,” where a pair of Flyers Faithful scribes present both sides of one particular issue with their own unique view and flair.

This week Pavialax and Marcello D debate the positives and negatives of defenseman Dustin Byfuglien.

By Pavialax

  • Has a serious appetite for competition
  • His name is easy to pronounce for the novice hockey fan
  • Now that he’s a Jet, he’s hoping to change his number to 747
  • In case of a lockout, he’s lined up a second source of income as a spokesman for Weight Watchers alongside Charles Barkley in order to make Sir Charles look slimmer.
  • Easily chips in on offense because it only takes him 3 strides to move from net to net.
  • Has a heavy shot. I mean, he really gets his weight behind it.
  • It’s a little known fact that Byfuglien played an integral role in Kyle Wellwood’s weight loss by eating for both of them.
  • At the end of last season, Jets management told him they expected a huge year from him. He took it literally.

By Marcello De Feo

  • Has never made it further than 75% of the way through the claim, “I eat players like you for breakfast.”
  • Threatens to alter the NHL landscape by becoming his own defensive pairing
  • Five-year contract extension could result in Winnipeg being below sea level by 2015
  • Once catapulted Kyle Wellwood into the rafters upon sitting on the opposite side of the bench
  • Caused the Winnipeg Jets to raise ticket prices by 40% in order to cover the additional costs of food and fuel
  • You know that scene in cartoons when something ricochets off the walls and everyone ducks for cover? That will happen to his knees the next time he hits the ice
  • Has to wait in the Zamboni tunnel for his next shift
  • When he sits around the house, structural damage occurs