Ladies, if this NHL lockout is preventing you from seeing hot guys in hockey uniforms, do I have the thing for you: Max Talbot and Bruno Gervais’ La Tournee des Joueurs (The Players’ Tour), featuring the likes of Talbot, Carey Price, Kris Letang, Derrick Brassard, and the hottest hunk of all — Simon Gagne.
Talbot and his BFF Gervais started this league to give back to the hockey fans in Quebec and allow them to see some of their favorite players playing, despite the lockout. But we all know the real reason the league was started — so as not to rob the lady fans of some serious eye candy.
As these studs skate along and play, the ice melts under their feet. Knees buckle as Gagne and Talbot skate together while reciting classic French poetry. And sometimes, they even play shirtless, kissing their arms after scoring a goal. Who needs the Chippendales when you can get the equivalent of the Chippendales on ice?
During intermission, Talbot and his teammates compete to see who can sleep with the most puck bunnies in the 20-minute time-frame. (Spoiler alert: it’s almost always Talbot.) You can generally find Paul “Biz Nasty” Bissonnette showing the ladies where the gun show is, even when he isn’t asked.
Oh, yeah, there’s also hockey going on, too. But who can concentrate on the sport when the players are so distracting? It’s damn near impossible!
Girls, if you plan on checking out a game on the tour, dress accordingly. A sweater, hoodie, or jacket may sound practical, but will they catch a French-Canadian man’s eyes? If the players can go shirtless for you, surely you can show a little cleavage for them. Didn’t you ever learn that it’s just as good to give as it is to receive?
God bless you, Monsieur Talbot, for sharing your talent with the world. And no, I’m not talking about your hockey skills or your acting “skills.”
I’m talking about how talented you are at filling out that uniform, and making the ladies swoon without batting an eyelash. Oh, and putting together one hot group of guys to make this offseason a little less depressing for us girls, and a lot more exciting.