The FLYERS are in the midst of a team meeting. ILYA BRYZGALOV is loudly snoring in the middle of the room, dead asleep. PETER LAVIOLETTE is visibly annoyed.
This is our problem right here: guys like Bryz who don’t want to pay any frickin’ attention in team meetings!
Lavy is screaming in Bryzgalov’s face, to no effect.
Hello, Earth to Ilya! Wake up!
Bryzgalov continues snoring. He’s dead asleep.
It looks like it’s happened again, boys. You’ve gotta go in and get him. Claude and Scott you’re our crew for this. Take Mason along too, you’ll need a goalie to figure out a goalie.
Laviolette pulls out a Flyers-branded INCEPTION MACHINE.
Nuh uh, no way am I going in there.
Hartsy, you’re going in there or else I’m personally driving you to Adirondack tonight!
I’ll be good.
Laviolette hooks them up to the device. A moment later they open their eyes to find themselves in a snowy jungle. Icicles hang from tropical trees.
Um, uh, where the, uh, hell are we?
We’re in his happy place.
How is this his happy place?
Well, he loves nature, but he’s also from Russia and has an affinity for the cold. The only thing I don’t understand is where all the animals are…
In that instant, Mason is pounced on by a tiger. He is about to be torn to shreds until he is rescued by Ilya Bryzgalov, who rides in on a giant Siberian Husky.
You leave new Lateman alone, tiger! Shoo!
The tiger walks away at Bryz’s command. Steve Mason curls into a ball on the ground, shaking in fear.
Ilya, what are you doing?
What it look like, Hartfell? I am being happy.
You can’t just avoid your problems like this.
In here I don’t have stupid questions, bad defense, or mad fans. It just good stuff. Tiger, husky. No bears. No reporters. Just Bryz and friends.
Look, um, I know it’s not always easy, obviously, but, um, we have your back, man.
Bryzgalov, touched by someone supporting him for once, steps off of his husky and slightly smiles at Giroux, Hartnell, and – still curled in a ball on the ground cowering in fear – Steve Mason.
I guess you guys right. Grab new Lateman and we go.
In a flash of light, the Flyers find themselves back in their meeting room. Everyone smiles at Bryz, relieved to have him back. He feels welcomed for the first time in his Flyers career. He props his stick up on the butt end to make sure that he’s no longer in the dream state. Before he can make sure, however, he is distracted by calls of free cake.
Bryz rushes to the cake. Who doesn’t love free cake?
He fails to notice that the stick stays up.