Image Courtesy of Geeky Tyrant

Hockey Hilarity: Staal Scores! For Martin Brodeur?!

Friday funnies brought to you straight from hockey’s own players, media personnel, and broadcast botches. We’ll be mucking it up every week right here, examining puck ups, puns, tweets, and more! Yesterday, the Carolina Hurricanes‘ Jordan Staal managed a dubious feat that has pushed the New Jersey Devils‘ Martin Brodeur into the NHL history books again. At 16:12 of the 1st period, with his team about to head to the power play, Staal collected the puck in the corner and threw it back towards the point hoping to set up shop in the offensive zone. Unfortunately, nobody was close enough to …

KimmoDBS

Deep Blue Line

KIMMO TIMONEN skates back and forth at the Flyers Skate Zone during practice. He is addressing his teammates before his 1,000th game.   KIMMO I know it’s been a difficult year. We haven’t played at our highest level. The Flyers nod solemnly in agreement.   KIMMO It’s my 1,000th game tonight. Zac Rinaldo can’t even count that high. ZAC RINALDO lights up smiling upon hearing his name.   RINALDO It’s true!   KIMMO It’s time to put all of our issues behind us. Jaromir Jagr and his magnificent smile aren’t walking through that door. CLAUDE GIROUX chimes in at the …

Laugh it up fuzzball (picture via Eric Hartline, USA TODAY Sports)

The Empire Strikes Bryz

ILYA BRYZGALOV and PAUL HOLMGREN walk down a hallway in the Wells Fargo Center.   BRYZ …and then I tells the husky that it is me who should be using the toilet!   HOLMER That’s wonderful, Ilya. Listen, you know your new Star Wars helmet? Bryzgalov proceeds to make blaster and lightsaber noises like C3PO telling a story to the Ewoks in Return of the Jedi (note: Estebomb always has been and always will be a huge nerd. Shut up.) Holmgren looks at him, stone faced.   HOLMER Well, I spoke to George Lucas, the creator of Star Wars, and …

Bryzgalov's had some difficulties in pulling off the poke check in the past.

Crashing the Crease: Bryz and the Art of the Poke Check

Tuesday night’s game at Madison Square Garden was quite possibly the single most glaring example of one of Bryzgalov’s greatest shortcomings: he is not particularly good at the poke check. Playing the poke check correctly is the epitome of a very fine line for any goaltender. A successful poke requires quick and decisive action: there is no time to spare in deciding to go for the poke, but at the same time it can’t be done too early – or “telegraphed” – lest the forward read it and simply walk around it. Against the Rangers, Bryzgalov’s poke attempts were telegraphed, …

looperflyers

Reader (Or, A Tale of Two Gagnes)

MATT READ stands in the Flyers locker room talking to ILYA BRYZGALOV about the movie Looper. ILYA BRYZGALOV So the Bruce Willy he heff to fight himself but he also different guy?  MATT READ Well, Joseph Gordon Levitt plays the younger version of Willis’ character. BRYZ Then why they fight? Can’t they fight bad guys together like Turner and Hooch? READ You’re missing the point Bryz, the thing is…. Read sees the newly acquired SIMON GAGNE walk into the room.    READ Who the hell is that?  BRYZ I think that old you with cool hair. You fight to the death now? …