Time Travelin’ Timmy Thomas

By Estebomb
Posted on 03/25/2013 at 1:00 pm

PHILADELPHIA, 1776. A flash of electricity bursts out. A man in a black and gold hockey sweater with a prominent mustache walks out into the night. TIM THOMAS has arrived in the past. He is in an alley a few blocks from INDEPENDENCE HALL. He sees a CHILD staring at him. TIM THOMAS You, boy! What year is it? CHILD 1776, sir. TIM THOMAS Excellent. I’m right on time. CHILD What are those strange garments? TIM THOMAS It’s my uniform, boy. Perhaps you can fetch me something less…conspicuous? CHILD What do I get …

Poll: What should the Flyers do at the trade deadline?

By Kevin Christmann
Posted on 03/23/2013 at 12:00 pm

With the trade deadline quickly approaching on April 3, the Flyers will have some decisions to make. Whether or not they think they can make the playoffs will dictate whether they “buy” or “sell”. Should they try to acquire a talented player that can be a benefit for years to come (think Byfuglien)? Should they make a strong playoff push and acquire a talented (but possibly expiring) veteran (think Morrow or Iginla)? Should they “sell” some of their own lesser pieces (think Talbot or Fedotenko)? Or should they do nothing at all?

Hockey Hilarity: Staal Scores! For Martin Brodeur?!

By Nick D
Posted on 03/22/2013 at 9:00 am

Friday funnies brought to you straight from hockey’s own players, media personnel, and broadcast botches. We’ll be mucking it up every week right here, examining puck ups, puns, tweets, and more! Yesterday, the Carolina Hurricanes‘ Jordan Staal managed a dubious feat that has pushed the New Jersey Devils‘ Martin Brodeur into the NHL history books again. At 16:12 of the 1st period, with his team about to head to the power play, Staal collected the puck in the corner and threw it back towards the point hoping to set up shop in the offensive zone. Unfortunately, nobody was close enough to …

Deep Blue Line

By Estebomb
Posted on 03/18/2013 at 1:00 pm

KIMMO TIMONEN skates back and forth at the Flyers Skate Zone during practice. He is addressing his teammates before his 1,000th game. KIMMO I know it’s been a difficult year. We haven’t played at our highest level. The Flyers nod solemnly in agreement. KIMMO It’s my 1,000th game tonight. Zac Rinaldo can’t even count that high. ZAC RINALDO lights up smiling upon hearing his name. RINALDO It’s true! KIMMO It’s time to put all of our issues behind us. Jaromir Jagr and his magnificent smile aren’t walking through that door. CLAUDE GIROUX chimes in at the …

Laugh it up fuzzball (picture via Eric Hartline, USA TODAY Sports)

The Empire Strikes Bryz

By Estebomb
Posted on 03/11/2013 at 1:00 pm

ILYA BRYZGALOV and PAUL HOLMGREN walk down a hallway in the Wells Fargo Center. BRYZ …and then I tells the husky that it is me who should be using the toilet! HOLMER That’s wonderful, Ilya. Listen, you know your new Star Wars helmet? Bryzgalov proceeds to make blaster and lightsaber noises like C3PO telling a story to the Ewoks in Return of the Jedi (note: Estebomb always has been and always will be a huge nerd. Shut up.) Holmgren looks at him, stone faced. HOLMER Well, I spoke to George Lucas, the creator of Star Wars, and …

Bryzgalov's had some difficulties in pulling off the poke check in the past.

Crashing the Crease: Bryz and the Art of the Poke Check

By Kevin A
Posted on 03/07/2013 at 9:33 am

Tuesday night’s game at Madison Square Garden was quite possibly the single most glaring example of one of Bryzgalov’s greatest shortcomings: he is not particularly good at the poke check. Playing the poke check correctly is the epitome of a very fine line for any goaltender. A successful poke requires quick and decisive action: there is no time to spare in deciding to go for the poke, but at the same time it can’t be done too early – or “telegraphed” – lest the forward read it and simply walk around it. Against the Rangers, Bryzgalov’s poke attempts were telegraphed, …

Reader (Or, A Tale of Two Gagnes)

By Estebomb
Posted on 03/04/2013 at 11:00 am

MATT READ stands in the Flyers locker room talking to ILYA BRYZGALOV about the movie Looper. ILYA BRYZGALOV So the Bruce Willy he heff to fight himself but he also different guy? MATT READ Well, Joseph Gordon Levitt plays the younger version of Willis’ character. BRYZ Then why they fight? Can’t they fight bad guys together like Turner and Hooch? READ You’re missing the point Bryz, the thing is…. Read sees the newly acquired SIMON GAGNE walk into the room. READ Who the hell is that? BRYZ I think that old you with cool hair. You fight to the death now? …

Hockey Hilarity: Art History Lesson

By Nick D
Posted on 03/01/2013 at 9:00 am

Friday funnies brought to you straight from hockey’s own players, media personnel, and broadcast botches. We’ll be mucking it up every week right here, examining puck ups, puns, tweets, and more! This week’s edition of Hockey Hilarity is brought to you, again, by another wonderful FlyersFaithful.com writer: Justin Brennan. He’s awesome, and hilarious. Seriously. Just check out how he knocked this one right out of the park: I’ve been laughing for days. Hopefully you will too. Anyway, next week, maybe something funnier than Ryan O’Reilly getting offer-sheeted and matched will happen.

Poll: Will Gagne’s Return Benefit the Flyers in the Long Run?

By Kim Pollock
Posted on 02/28/2013 at 11:00 am

To the surprise and happiness of many a Flyers fan, the team acquired former player Simon Gagne from the Los Angeles Kings on Tuesday. Gagne spent ten years with the Flyers before being traded to Tampa Bay in the summer of 2010. After one season with the Lightning, he signed with the Los Angeles Kings and won his first Stanley Cup with them this past season. Gagne brings skill, scoring ability, and a veteran presence to the team, and his return marked a strong win for the Flyers over the Washington Capitals on Wednesday night. But from this point forward, …

Poll: With the trade deadline less than six weeks away, what is the Flyers’ biggest need?

By Kevin Christmann
Posted on 02/23/2013 at 11:00 am

You could argue that the Flyers have a number of needs as the team currently stands. They could use a scoring winger for the top six–if not, the top line–especially with Read’s injury. Erik Gustafsson has the potential to help, but a puck-moving defenseman would be nice. I’m sure some people out there still want a goaltender, if only a backup. Outside of Giroux, the Flyers are pretty dreadful on faceoffs. I, for one, am not a fan of either Talbot or Fedetenko playing the fourth-line center spot, so that could be a need as well. With the trade deadline less …

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