Photoshop courtesy of the talented Geoff Mang.

50 Shades of Orange

What you are about to read is the brainchild of Kim Pollock and Steve Jacot, inspired by various Tumblr users and an overall lack of anything substantial to write about re: hockey. Grab yourself a glass of wine, light a few candles, and settle in as we give you an exclusive look at excerpts from the upcoming “50 Shades of Orange.” Hartnell let loose his wild hair as he climbed into bed. Hartsy picked the Cheetos out of his beard and swept her into his arms. Bryz said something unintelligible about world commerce and the effect penguins had on it …

Image courtesy of flyersfancentral.com

Homer’s Do’s and Doh’s: Leino Trade v. Giroux Extension and Gagne Trade v. Shelley Signing

Paul Holmgren became the interim General Manager of the Philadelphia Flyers on October 22, 2006. That interim title was removed only weeks later on November 11. Holmgren was able to take a team that finished last in the National Hockey League, and rebuild it to make a deep run all the way to the Eastern Conference Finals the very next season. Yes, some of Holmgren’s moves have been amazing, but he’s also a guy who has gotten this organization into some hot water with the salary cap and was forced to make deals that were head scratchers to say the least. If you enjoyed …

Image courtesy of guardian.co.uk

Homer’s Do’s and Doh’s: Pronger Trade v. Leino Trade and Gagne Trade v. Versteeg Trade

Paul Holmgren became the interim General Manager of the Philadelphia Flyers on October 22, 2006. That interim title was removed only weeks later on November 11. Holmgren was able to take a team that finished last in the National Hockey League, and rebuild it to make a deep run all the way to the Eastern Conference Finals the very next season. Yes, some of Holmgren’s moves have been amazing, but he’s also a guy who has gotten this organization into some hot water with the salary cap and was forced to make deals that were head scratchers to say the least. If you enjoyed …

The time for talking is over... c/o Dispatch

Negative Nancy

This time last week, cautious optimism surrounding the NHL lockout was flowing like a geyser from a liberated fire hydrant, drowning the fans with sweet dreams of the sport that once was, but might still be. Suddenly, the feelings of optimism are gone, and once again those who remain powerless are left feeling power-played. The “secret meetings” (which were only a few blocks away from NHL HQ) have concluded with little ground gained. The perfunctory daily meetings between the second-in-commands appear to be happening with less frequency. Those on the outside looking in have been left to wonder how the …

We know how you feel, buddy.

Another week, another blunder by the NHL

Well, the National Hockey League has done it again! On Wednesday morning, reports began to surface about the league allowing team management personnel to speak one-on-one to their players regarding the NHL’s latest offer in an attempt to sway them towards agreeing to it. This allowance comes after the owners and general managers were forbidden from speaking to their players, and were threatened with heavy fines if they were to do so — including a $1 million penalty for offering any thoughts about the ongoing Collective Bargaining Agreement mess. Think about this: back in September, Scott Hartnell held his charity …