Photoshop courtesy of the talented Geoff Mang.

50 Shades of Orange

What you are about to read is the brainchild of Kim Pollock and Steve Jacot, inspired by various Tumblr users and an overall lack of anything substantial to write about re: hockey. Grab yourself a glass of wine, light a few candles, and settle in as we give you an exclusive look at excerpts from the upcoming “50 Shades of Orange.” Hartnell let loose his wild hair as he climbed into bed. Hartsy picked the Cheetos out of his beard and swept her into his arms. Bryz said something unintelligible about world commerce and the effect penguins had on it …