Thanks to Film Junk

Hockey Hilarity: Banned Beards

Friday funnies brought to you straight from hockey’s own players and media personnel. We’ll be mucking it up every week right here, examining puck ups, puns, tweets, and more! A little over a week ago, Claude Giroux sent out a tweet that he and Scott Hartnell would be growing beards during the lockout, presumably until the ban on National Hockey League hockey is lifted. This just further reaffirms the notion that hockey players will grow beards at any given point in time for any reason at all, and it’s awesome. Here’s what usually, but currently not, professional NHL players Claude Giroux, Scott Hartnell, Mike Richards, …

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Spawn of Lockout

As the story goes, last time there was a lockout in 2004-05, ESPN, the primary carrier of NHL games at the time, panicked. The Bristol behemoth and “Worldwide Leader” suddenly had a ton of airspace to fill, and all other ” legitimate” sports were spoken for. One can only imagine the tense, sweat-soaked and empty Chinese food box laden meetings, that went on among network brass since their 12-year run of success with the sport had come to an unexpected end. I’m not sure who exactly it was, but I can imagine one underling meekly raising his hand to suggest …

Thanks to Google Images

It’s Fargin War!

Neither the NHL’s Board of Governors, its Commissioner, nor the Players’ Association were able to come to an agreement on a new Collective Bargaining Agreement by the midnight deadline. And so, the third lockout in the last 18 years has commenced, all under Gary Bettman’s watch. The following is a message, in the emotion of the moment. Directed to Bettman, the 30 owners for whom he has been a perfect tool, the Fehr brothers and all the players, stolen from Roman Troy Moronie: “You lousy cork-soakers. You have violated our farging rights. Dis somanumbatching sport was founded so that the …

GUMicerink

The one where I get angry, irrational, and devious

  This time tomorrow, the NHL lockout will be underway and there’s nothing we can do about it as fans. We can swear up and down that we’ll turn away and protest games but it does not matter what we say. Most of us will keep coming back and, now that the NHL has a longterm deal with NBC, the sport will reach a larger audience once it does return. Just think about all that pent up anxiousness and desire all coming to a head with the tease of two of the NHL’s most storied franchises, the Detroit Red Wings …

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